Bread and Wine and Grand Island, NE

Good morning Book Club.  It's Donna.

Hannah, Jess, Kathy, Jen - loved reading your posts.  I texted Jen after reading them and said, "I love being real with real people."

I jotted down thoughts while reading the book and while reading your posts. I, like you, love the push to keep things around the table.  Let's keep fighting for it.  My kids hear the importance of family meals at the table and have told me in so many words that I have their approval of our way of life that way.  Your kids will tell you the same thing some day.  I, like you, have had some type of eating issue.  I used food as something - not sure what - I don't know how to explain it.  I gave my life to the Lord after living a rough five years without Him.  Then I just decided to quit eating.  I had no husband and no kids so it was just me.  Maybe it was bc I gave up control of my life so God could take over but giving up control made me find something to control - so food it was. Whatever you sense you might be doing with food, just know you are not alone.  Keep fighting.  I will pray.  Keep looking and imagining and dreaming and changing things...

The notes I made while reading...I have condensed alot and who knows if this even reads well.

1)  I immediately wrote down "I woulda never picked this book!"  And I used that exclamation mark bc I loved that I really never woulda picked it and really woulda missed out had I not joined "the group"...  and I used that exclamation point also bc it's so fun to be open and willing to things I maybe would have never otherwise considered.  And it was fun to kinda get that same message from the author, too.

2)  I'm a baker's daughter and I don't know how to bake.  I can cook but I like to say I am "scared" of yeast - said it for decades - which really just means that I am scared of failing a loaf of bread - which, after reading the book, I am encouraged and I can't wait to try her bread recipe!

3)  I learned from a different niece than Jen the importance of finding your way in the kitchen -something the author talked about doing.   Once I asked my niece to cut up a watermelon or something. Later that year she told me how she had never experienced being able to cut something up how ever she wanted.  She always felt like she couldn't do it the "right" way in the kitchen no matter what it was.  Her words have always stuck with me.  

4)  "Start where you are."   I like the encouragement of the statement and also the story behind it.  The author said that in the 50's, the factories no longer had a war to think about so they needed something else to make, so they started canning up soups and boxing up cake mixes and the advertisers had the job of convincing American women that cooking was "too much work; too difficult; not worth the time learning."  It produced women who didn't know where to start in the kitchen.   I wonder what propaganda I have been exposed to and bought into...

5)  "More salt. More butter. More heat."  I am REMEMBERING this!!

6) Let's not be perfect; it's so over rated.  I have the yucky gene so I liked these reminders...

    "What people are craving isn't perfection.  People are aren't longing to be impressed.  They're longing to feel like they're at home, no matter how small, undone, odd."

   "The heart of hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard and loved.  It's about declaring your table a safe zone." Anytime there is the word "safe", count me in.

   "...perfectly wrapped gift, perfectly bake cookies, perfectly resentful and frazzled self, ready to snap at the first family member who looks at me wrong."  I know what this looks and feels like from a family member.  It's scary and I don't like it and I know I never want to be it.

7)  "It's my job to walk him (her) quite literally, from baby to toddler to boy (girl) to man (woman)."  That makes me cry.  I have a 20 year old young man so in that sense, I have watched this statement come to fruition and I hope to see it happen two more times.  I hope you get to see it in each of your children, too.  I remember staying at home with him.  I remember staying home with two boys. Then three boys. I remember planning 3 meals and snacks a day, in and day out for 13 years as a stay at home mom.  It's hard.  I hear your posts and pain in the tedious work of feeding your family.  I know.  Sometimes it's not pretty - the meal - the attitude.  I know bc I have been there.  I got tired of meals, too.  You will find some things along the way that will work - some tricks, some reliable meals, and some reasons to keep trying - some reasons to like (or kinda like) this hard job.

Jen Stutzman, great pick of a book.  I'm looking forward to the next one.